2022 New York City Marathon

I don't know where to start with this one.

The month leading up to NYC I felt good. The week of, I felt good. That weekend, I felt good.

If you're a Detroit Tigers fan, you know that every spring, Miguel Cabrara is in the best shape of his life. Well, I think I have been in the best shape of my life. Fittest ever. Ran a 5K on Monday in my neighborhood in 16:55, which would be a PR if it was an official course. Successful training, killer long runs, and a very casual 2:49 at the Holland Haven marathon in September.
Confident. 2:39, lets go.

I knew it was going to be warm. The week preceding, the forecast temperature crept up and up. But I wasn’t worried, because all of the previously mentioned fitness, developed mostly in hot and humid Michigan summer.

In the corral at the start

Training partner from across Lake Michigan, Todd Fergus

The first mile was about as crazy as Boston, but in a different way. NYC starts you off with a cannon, Frank Sinatra singing "New York, New York", and a mile climb up the Verrazano Narrows Bridge.
The climb wasn't bad, and the downhill off the bridge was fine. But when we got onto flat ground, the effort rose pretty quick. At about mile 4, I realized my heart rate was around 160 already. For hard long runs and marathon pace workouts, it has been around 145-150.
I did not suddenly lose fitness. The temperature at race time was 75, and the sun was out.

I didn't lose fitness, but I also didn't have a plan B. The entire point of this race was big city, big energy, run fast. I made my goals pretty clear.

At mile 10, I knew it was going to be a bad day. I eased off the goal pace along the way in hopes of the effort level feeling more like a marathon should, and never found it. Eventually I was running around 7:00/mile (goal was 6:05), then 7:10, then 7:30. Running slow for over an hour after running fast for an hour does not feel good.

Finishing this race was one of the hardest things I've done. I spent about 2 hours beating myself up about breaking down to soon, not being good enough, letting people down.
Everybody has assured me what I know, that finishing a race matters, that not many people can run under 3:00. But that's not what I want to do. Training for a long time to do something more than just finish, and then fail to meet that goal hurts.

When things got bad, I tried to simply enjoy running through NYC. The crowds were nuts, New York City shows up for this race. People were encouraging, which for me was one of the hard parts in the race. People keep yelling how great we're doing, but guess what, I wasn't doing good, I was doing really bad. But, quitting wasn't an option, so I listened to the people. There were certainly people having the day of their life, passing me and others having a rough time, so the air is filled with a mixture of triumph and heartbreak. The course was hard, harder than Boston. Harder than a solo out and back in small town Charlevoix. But, I don't know how hard, because the course was only a small contribution to my bad day. I think I perceived the course as harder because of how crappy I felt in general.

Most of the race is still pretty vivid in my head. The first mile, climbing up the bridge was very cool. I started the race with no music just to let the spectacle wash over me, but about 1/4 mile in I hit play on "Wonderful Wonderful" by the Killers. Go listen to that song, and picture being on the middle of a huge bridge. All you can see is bridge, people, sky, and water. That will be one of the scenes I play in my head when training sucks.
Then when we turn left into Brooklyn when we get off the bridge, the crowds are immediately electric, and that didn't really stop until we hit another bridge. I saw Lisa and Aaron after mile 5. I kept looking for a Detroit Tigers ballcap, which wasn't helpful considering the Yankees cap looks exactly the same.

The Queensborough Bridge was tough. It wasn't as steep as the shorter bridges, but it was the second longest, and it's covered, so it's a little bit of an eerie experience. That's when some people really started to have trouble. I can remember a handful of guys who were around me from that point on.

At some point, I stopped to walk through an aid station to get as much fluid in as possible. I was afraid to do that, because I didn’t want to get into a run-walk cycle, otherwise the day would have been REALLY REALLY bad. But my legs got wobbly as soon as I stopped running, so I drank as much fluid as possible in about 5 seconds, and started running again. I was not willing to go down like that.
On the final bridge, before the Bronx, a lady had a megaphone and a sign announcing that it was the last bridge. Usually I want to ignore that stuff, the course is what it is. But today, I was thankful for the spectators with all of the road racing tropes.
Near the end of the race, at mile 23ish, there was a long gradual climb. Emphasis on long. The rest of it was uneventful, until after we finished, and on about a mile walk from the finish line to the bag pickup area, photographers were stationed about every 10 feet, ready to get a photograph of every finisher. I indulged about 5 of them, and then put my head down.

Todd adjusted his plan and came away with a 2:48.

There are some truths that I hold in running and life. The journey (training) must be as meaningful as the destination (the race, or long term goal), otherwise fleeting success or crushing defeat will break you. Also, finishing a very hard task is important, even if the results aren’t what you want.
Where that comes to a head is the cognitive dissonance between knowing I didn’t do what I set out to do, but I didn’t outright fail. Also, because of life and racing schedules I have to wait a long time before I can try again. I'm afraid I'l have this hanging over my head until June, when I race the CVX Marathon. Maybe an opportunity will present itself. before then, but that would be a surprise. The good news is I like the struggle. I think we would all be better off right now if more people were willing to embrace the physical struggle. I don't think we were designed for the leisure of the 21st century life.

More good news is the seasons change, and the running routine changes. It's almost indoor track season, which means it's time to do one of my other favorite things, train milers. Free preview, the BCTF distance group is starting to become something special.

So whether my next shot is next June, or some revenge at the Riverbank Run (which was another heat transfer debacle), or something else, the goal is not changing.

Tools of the trade, with about 1000 miles on them. Gently placed in a clothing donation box, with a pair of BCTF sweats.

The line to the busses at 5:30AM

Getting off the bus, entering athletes village before the race